I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize
