So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
