I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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