What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
