We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Drunk is not a location!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize