What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize