you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
