I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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