fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
