You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
