Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
When are your genitals available?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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