no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
