I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
