I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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