So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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