Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
