I'm lost and stupid without you.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just pee around me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
