Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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