Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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