We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
