she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
