who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
