Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
