apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
