Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
