Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
