Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
