Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
