I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize