HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
