Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
