So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
