can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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