She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
