Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
