she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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