I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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