I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
