I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
