Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
