uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
