Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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