i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
