he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
