just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
