I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
