I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
