it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
