i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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