I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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