i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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