I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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