I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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