Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
