I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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