I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
