What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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