But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
ttyl tear gas
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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