Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
