If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
