were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
