Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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