WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
