just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize