sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I smell stomach acid.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He did a backflip because drugs
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
