we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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