Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
