I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
