you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
