have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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