i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
