i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
organizing the empties. That sober.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize