He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
