Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
